So, the Final Four is upon us again. I have been very hesitant to report on Sedition in Red Sox Nation Bracket Challenge of late. Let us just say that I took a man sized beating. The only team I had in the Final Four which ended up making it was Ohio State. Texas, Kansas and Notre Dame were not the best picks, I guess. So I offer congratulations to the Daniel Bellott entry, which according to my calculations is so far ahead at this point that it cannot possibly lose.

If you have the time, and let's face facts if you're reading this you probably do, check out Bob Ryan's take on the Final Four. It's not half-bad. Of course, with the magnitude of the Final Four, you know that I have to offer my irrational and quite possibly insane prediction for the event's outcome.

Watching this tournament, I finally realized why I hate Joakim Noah. He's a giant tool who celebrates every little thing like he just cured cancer. It's not just that he celebrates a dunk, or a big shot or block or assist. But he emerged from one exchange against Butler where a guy four inches shorter than him pushed him as they battled for a loose ball pounding his chest and screaming.

It got me thinking what is he like off the court? Does Noah beat his chest and scream to celebrate waking up in time for class because he set his alarm clock correctly for daylight savings time? If he gets his whites whiter and his brights brighter in the laundry room does he take a victory lap and taunt his neighbors? He needs to take it down a notch, or 12.

I think UCLA will beat Florida this time out. I don't want to see either team win, but one of them has to. I don't think Humphries will be as hot as he was last game (or in last year's championship game, for that matter), and I don't think UCLA will be anywhere near as cold. Plus UCLA improved by leaps and bounds over last year's team. Never has addition by subtraction accomplished so much as it did when Jordan Farmar went pro.

I am not comfortable with either of the coaches in this matchup. Ben Howland is bald. My sources tell me that bald people have tremendous difficulty with idea retention, what with not having hair to keep the thoughts from wafting up through the top of their head and all. On a more serious note, I think the slow-down defense first style can choke all the life out of your offense if one or two of your players isn't hitting shots.

Then there's Billy Donovan. Outside of the fact that he's a Pitino disciple, and I hate Pitino (a vestige of my days as a Celtics fan), there's the fact that he looks like Matt Damon. And not so much Matt Damon the actor as Matt Damon the puppet doppelganger from Team America who couldn't say anything beyond shouting his own name. For some reason that's all I've been able to think about as Billy Donovan attempted to sidestep the Kentucky rumors this past week.

I simply do not like Georgetown. I was 6 when they last made a Final Four, so I don't remember the Ewing Sr. teams. I do remember the teams with Mourning and Dikembe Mutumbo who underachieved like crazy. But more than just the basketball team, I don't like the school.

If you're from the Northeast, it's reasonable to assume that you went to high school with a guy who ended up going to Georgetown or really wanted to. Think back on that guy, and what a tool he was. I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that that guy was a sort of arrogant sycophant. When it couldn't possibly hurt him, he was a tough guy, but when there was a grade to be grubbed or a chance that he could catch a beating, then our Georgetown guy was not so formidable. I do know a few guys who attended Georgetown and were good guys, but they are the overwhelmingly small minority.

That sort of arrogant sycophant is a type that gravitates to the Catholic schools of the Northeast, and it not a phenomenon exclusive to Georgetown. BC is packed to the rafters with them. And Holy Cross has produced the two most visible, the dueling lizard kings of the arrogant sycophants in the CHB and Bill Simmons. If you don't believe me, think about the CHB's dust up with Jurassic Carl Everett. Or Bill Simmons full on retreat from Isiah Thomas.

To make a long story short, I see Ohio State beating Georgetown. Oden (provided that he stays out of foul trouble) can shut down the Georgetown's inside game. And I'm not buying a team with the son of Doc Rivers as a championship contender. To say nothing of how sickening the montages of John Thompson Jr/Patrick Ewing Sr. and their sons will be.

And I think Oden is strong enough to shut down the middle against UCLA too. I've heard roughly one billion times in the last five years that the NCAA tournament is all about guard play. So let's agree now to call this year the exception that proves the rule when Oden leads Ohio State to the title.

After the last 50+ years, I think the last thing the Boston Celtics should want to do, from an organizational standpoint, is make franchise history. After the 16 titles, 11 in a 13 year span and all the facts that you already know, it's almost impossible to break any of the positive records. Unfortunately, what will go down in history as the 3rd consecutive year Danny Ainge should have been fired (even the year they went to the playoffs should have cost him his job, nothing says I have no idea what I'm doing like reacquiring Antoine Walker) will have seen two milestones in Celtics history eclipsed.

The franchise record losing streak was bad enough. But these things happen. The worst thing about is that the Celtics are going to play the Sixers tonight without Paul Pierce. And at stake is the fifth 50 loss season in franchise history. But I'm the only guy who thinks Ainge is the problem...

Well, the first weekend of the NCAA tournament is over. And the bracket challenge disaster I predicted in the last post of last week not only happened, but happened twice over. I know I shouldn't do it, after the last 15 years of doing it, but I choose teams based on hatred or lack thereof and it kicks my brackets ass all the time. I picked Texas Tach to go to the Elite Eight because I hate BC and Georgetown. I picked Notre Dame to go to the Final Four because I hate Florida, Wisconsin and Oregon. And now my bracket needs teams from the NBA to lose, three of the original cast of MASH to die and four or five country wonders to occur for me to win.

For the record, I didn't really think that ND could win. I thought they were the first team that had a snowball's chance in the infernal region of beating Florida that I didn't hate. And even then I didn't like that pick. I love ND as a football school, but I've never been a big fan of their basketball team. I don't know why. But I think it has a lot to do with the fact that Mike Bray looks like a bad lounge singer with the slicked back hair and the mock turtleneck with the blazer. I just can't get behind the lounge lizard coaching the team. But I picked them, and they killed me.

And all of that was before Texas lost. That was a defensible pick, though. With the best single player in the tournament and a point guard that could play, they had a chance to get hot. Unfortunately, they didn't. But I'm not at the point in my life where I'm willing to forsake my hatred for the sake of a NCAA tournament bracket sheet. I am a sad, small, bitter, bitter man, but I'm fine with it, which makes me a good person.

One of the surprising stories of the tournament so far was the lack of an upset in the 5-12 matchup. Personally, I think there was an upset. When the officials swallowed the whistle as Virginia Tech played what resembled rugby more than basketball, that was an upset. Illinois got jobbed, and America's least coherent and honest columnist took entirely too much satisfaction in the defeat of his new mortal enemy Bruce Weber. By the way, can an Illini team that didn't deserve to be there in the first place actually choke? These are questions that trouble responsible writers, but not Jay the total fraud.

To be fair, Illinois could have been more aggressive offensively down the stretch. I understand that there is a natural impulse to go to your strong suit when you need to close out a game. Illinois played good defense, so they tried to take the air out of the ball, milk the clock and hope the 13 point lead was sufficient. And maybe it was a good thing for Brian Randle that the final foul was ignored. If he missed two more freethrows that would have tied the game, I shudder to think what the poor kid would have done to himself or the community at large.

At some point, it is probably as effective to sprint down the court and fire up a bad shot as it is to walk the ball up, run 25 screens, rotate the ball from side to side for 34 seconds and then take a bad shot. If you aren't scoring, you aren't scoring. Might as well be interesting while you're doing it. As far as the 9 turnovers VT forced, Brian Urlacher doesn't hack half as much to force a fumble in the NFL (a contact sport, for the record) than the VT press did. That loser the Grizzly Man experienced less contact in being mauled to death by a grizzly bear than the Illinois guards did in bringing the ball up court.

I was rooting for Illinois. I thought they deserved to win. I wish the refs called fouls on some of the VT contact, but that's life. But it got me thinking about something. And the Southern Illinois game vs. Holy Cross got me thinking too. Based on the score, the Holy Cross game was closer than the Virginia Tech game. Now does that mean Holy Cross was a better team and could have beaten Virginia Tech? The obvious answer is, hell no.

However, Southern Illinois likes to play tight defense and make the most of their opportunities on offense. That's how Holy Cross likes to play, which led to the tight game. Virginia Tech didn't play that way, Southern Illinois stifled VT and crushed them handily. But on the Southern Illinois-HC game, it was clear as day that SIU was much, much, much more athletic than Holy Cross. If they ran, the cross between Tarantino, Boo Radley and the Missing Link would have been gasping for air and out of the game.

So my question is, is it better to stick to your style or adapt and exploit the opponent's weaknesses? I think it's better to adapt, but SIU could have easily adopted a run and gun approach, lost discipline and fallen apart. Plus the first two paragraphs of this post are all about what an idiot I am and the shambles that once was a proud bracket challenge entry. Take that with my record for picking games (I have to count the SIU-HC game as a loss, since I predicted a bigger victory and the humiliation of double zero, neither of which happened).

By the way, I found out that Danny Ainge's birthday is March 17. I would wish him many happy returns, but I hate him. But what kind of Mormon is born on the biggest drinking day of the year? You know there's no way the stars were smiling on him. That's why he's mad such a shambles of the Celtics. He was born unlucky.

PS - I may seem insensitive in ridiculing the Grizzly Man, but he got what he deserved. It may be bad karma, and tempting fate, but that's how I feel. If grizzly bears are going to maul me, they're going to have to come to my apartment and maul me here. I'm sure as hell not going to go out and hang out with apex predators like they were my buddies.

PPS - I appreciate the Anti-Jay people for reading me and commenting on these posts. But I must ask the question, what has Boise done to you? I've never been to Boise, and God willing, I never will. But I'm pretty sure that the good people of Boise don't deserve him. He needs to go. Chicago is the best city in the world not named Boston, and he is a blight on its landscape. How about banishing him to Siberia? Or a research station in the Antarctic? While we're dreaming, let's dream big.

We have a slight delay before we can get to the tool of note segment. Bill Simmons shamelessly picked Holy Cross to defeat Southern Illinois. Perhaps it comes from living under the blanket of smog which, according to Ray Bones in Get Shorty is the reason for the beautiful sunsets in LA. Or maybe it comes from attending a school starved for any athletic achievement since Tommy Heinshon tore it up on Mt. St. James back in the 1950s.

I have seen Southern Illinois play. And Holy Cross has more chance of winning the BCS national championship than they have of winning this game. Watching the Holy Cross game against Bucknell, I got a reasonable idea of the strengths and weaknesses of Tim Clifford. In my stream of consciousness post on Friday last, I described him as a cross between Quentin Tarantino, Boo Radley and the Missing Link. I stand by that. There is no way he can handle Randal Falker on the SIU front line.

Falker gave Patrick O'Bryant a tough time in last year's MVC Championship game. O'Bryant was a lottery pick in last season's NBA draft. Tim Clifford won't be a lottery pick, unless of course you mean the state lottery. Or Ainge is even worst than I think and overreacts when the Cs lose out in the lottery. And the idea that the RA can handle Jamaal Tatum is totally preposterous.

People can sell the MVC short all they want, and against the power conferences you might be right. But Holy Cross comes from the Patriot League. So Bucknell caught Kansas by surprise a couple of years ago, and statistically speaking the odds of lightning striking the same place twice are no worse than the odds of it striking at all. Nevertheless, if HC loses this game by less than 15, I will regard it as a minor miracle.

But enough about Holy Cross, it's time for the tool of the note. I hadn't really expected to do this, but this mess has gone on too long. I am sick to death of Lance Briggs. At first, I thought it was going to be a big loss for the Bears when he demanded to be traded or else. Now I'm not so sure.

First of all, how do you whine about $7.2 million for one year's work and expect the fans to sympathize with you? Maybe you would command a lot more guaranteed money on the open market, but most of the fans would play for the Bears for $7.20. And yes, you could get hurt and risk losing the $20 or $25 million in guaranteed money, but you could also slip in the shower or hurt yourself working out or fall on some ice while you're holding out.

I liked Lance Briggs before this situation developed. I was on his side as far as the franchise tag was concerned, but after he came out in the ESPN interview and started talking about taking out loans to sustain him through the holdout, I'm out. I'm sure Lance won't lose much sleep over losing my support. It is his right, and his choice, but there are a lot worse things than playing out a season on a one year deal worth the average of the top five salaries at your position.

Yes, he led the Bears in solo tackles this past season and went to his second consecutive Pro Bowl. But none of that justifies the massive ego he shows the world on his website and in his recent interviews. The highlight montage is depressingly narcissistic. And ordinarily I don't have a problem with massive egos (just look at my continual defense of Terrell Owens). But I usually like to see a little bit more to justify that ego than what Lance Briggs has turned in to date.

His numbers are good, but I can't remember a single defining postseason moment, and I watched every minute of the Bears loss to Carolina last year and the Super Bowl run this year. Terrell Owens, whose massive ego is undeniable and whom I have defended so often that a friend joked that I would probably defend him even if he came to the door and kicked me in the groin, has two major defining postseason moments. First, there is the huge TD catch that beat the Packers when he was with the 49ers (which also redeemed him from several big drops that day). The other is the day he totally outplayed Super Bowl MVP Deion Branch when Philly lost to NE.

I think the real villain in the Lance Briggs saga is his agent and well known archtool, Drew Rosenhaus. For the record, I am aware that Rosenhaus is also TO's agent, and Rosenhaus has an extremely well-publicized record of getting big deals for his clients through (or in spite of) this type of saber rattling. It's just that I find myself wondering whether he could get his clients good contracts without getting his face on TV so often.

And in the interest of fairness, I had to go to TO's website. I know those of you who read this probably won't believe this, but it's my first visit. I have to say, as much as I love to watch him play football, TO sucks as a rapper. But then, I'm not the best judge of music. I think it might be good thing that BIG and Tupac died young. Make no mistake, the manner in which they departed was deplorable, and I do not condone violence in any way, shape or form. I just think that people who look at what might have been and say why not (with apologies to the late Robert Kennedy) are a little bit optimistic for my taste.

Listen to any track off The Chronic (especially Deep Cover, my personal favorite) and tell me it doesn't kick ass on Dre's later work. And can you tell me that asking a little mama to show you what she's got in ever so slightly different ways over and over is an artistic achievement on par with Hard Knock Life, but I must thank Shawn Carter for not murdering everything moving since his subsequent material (only part of his situation) did not improve on that particular track. Very, very, very few people keep getting better with age in any profession.

The list of people who lose whatever fleeting, ephemeral quality that makes them phenomena is a mile long. Dennis Leary was the first to bring this trend to my attention in No Cure For Cancer, and it applies to him too. What has he done that was as funny (but he does great things for fallen firefighters and their families)?
But I digress. After all, no one comes to Sedition in Red Sox Nation for their perspective on the history of hip hop, or at least I hope they read me for other reasons like my gentle sarcasm and kind words for tools.

PS - In case you care, my response to the Owens kicking me in the groin joke was that I would, and I'd assume I had done something to deserve it. Unfortunately, I can't promise that I would be as eloquent as George C. Scott in Man Getting Hit By Football from one of the all time great Simpsons episodes. And I'm sorry if I misspelled the name of Torey Thomas (HC point guard and RA) in last Friday's post. I would wish I had a better excuse than laziness if it were more important to me that I knew his name in the first place.

Why are Bucknell and Holy Cross playing for an automatic bid to the NCAA tournament? These teams are horrible. I've watched better high school teams. I think Holy Cross combs the refuse of the worst parties in the known universe (on Caro St.) to get players 4-12 for every game. And somehow Bucknell is worse. I hate to break this to HC fans, but if Keith Simmons were any good (as opposed to the best player in the Patriot League and future third best player in the suburban Boston over-40 They Call Me Rubberneck League), he'd be playing in a better conference, like the MAAC or the NESCAC.

Meanwhile, Bucknell started a guard who cultivated an Ed Grimley look. I don't know if he lost a bet, but I hope to God that he isn't doing this because he thinks it's a good look. It tells you something about the quality of the team involved that the announcers just wondered how you get the vernacular pronunciation out of Worcester. And one of them just said "Pahk the cah in the pahking lot." Good. Make light of the accent, jackass. It's not my fault the game sucks and the teams suck. Drop dead.

If you haven't had a chance to watch any of this game, the paint is currently being dominated by a guy who looks like a cross between Mungo from Blazing Saddles and the Golem of Prague with as little athletic ability as you could imagine a college basketball player possessing. He flows to the ball like Randy from My Name is Earl doing the robot while Mr. Roboto plays in the strobe-lit room, only in real time and under normal lighting conditions. I'm only exaggerating slightly when I say that 00 for Holy Cross looks like a cross between Quentin Tarantino, Boo Radley and the Missing Link.

Then there is the festival of uggos that these schools parade out as cheerleaders. I think my watch stopped when ESPN2 showed the Bucknell group. I understand that these schools aren't drawing from the same talent pool that a USC or Florida has available, but even still...yikes. I wouldn't want to run into them in a dark alley. To say nothing of the line of but-her-faces in belly shirts with "Beat Bucknell" spelled across their beer guts.

I'm guessing at least one of these girls will be rejected with the six simple words: "I'm not gay, but I'll learn" at some point in her life. With apologies to Sir John Gielgud, the butler from Arthur, but you'd think you'd have to frequent bowling alleys to meet women of the same quality as the type haunting the Hart Center tonight. I almost feel sorry for the third-tier Congressmen who will make these young ladies their third-rate mistresses in the next decade.

Holy Cross point guard Torry Thomas is a resident advisor on his floor. Can you imagine Magic Johnson, Oscar Robinson, Pete Maravich, Larry Bird or any legitimately great college basketball player being an RA? Maybe I'm biased because my college RAs included a girl so nice that her administration was ironically referred to as a reign of terror (what can I say? I rolled with a dangerous crowd), a hippie that was one more story about Phish tour away from a grim death, an Asian girl who was afraid of her own shadow and the girl who is forever remembered as the woman who dated Bed Head, whose nickname ought to be self-explanatory. I don't know how I ended up with so many female RAs, maybe the school figured I was less likely to burn the dorm down that way.

I have to sign off here, as the announcer just informed me that a rebound was manly. If I hear Linda Cohn ask if Bob Knight is as talkative as he was last night in her best coy manner one more time I am going to storm the set in Bristol like Maximus busting out of the tunnel in the Spanish arena. Instead of shouting "Are you not entertained," I'll be shouting "You're With Me, Leather."

Before I go, I have this to say to the Bucknell coach: "I'm not buying any goddamn Bushmills I don't need Flannery." I'm sorry, but the guy looks like he was scared out of his wits one day and never quite recovered. By the way, that is a quote from State of Grace, a movie every man in America should see, especially with St. Pat's coming in a week and a day.