I know it's been a while since I last updated this blog. I've been more than a little depressed by this World Series. The Cardinals winning is not good for any one. I think we can all agree that no one in St. Louis really deserves to be happy. When your chief landmark is a big freestanding arch with no particular significance (I know the arch represents the gateway to the West, but it's still pathetic), you live in a loser town. No way around it. Given the choice between living in Missouri and death, I'm taking death.

A lot of people wonder why the World Series ratings are so low. Part of it may be the fact that the Tigers and the Cardinals did not get the national TV exposure during the season that the New York teams received. Part of it may be the fact that the Cardinals were dreadful this season. They finished two games over .500, and they went on an amazingly boring run in the playoffs. Part of it might be that baseball is no longer America's pastime. The NFL is the big sport now.

One thing that has not received enough attention is the network itself. FOX does an atrocious job of packaging and presenting baseball as a television sport. It is difficult to make baseball work as a TV sport, there is a lot of dead time in a baseball game. Do we really need to see managers spit and scratch themselves while the pitcher and catcher sort out the sign, the hitter steps in and out of the batter's box and boring announcers try to be amusing and fail miserably? But that is what we get. There are those who maintain that the beauty of baseball is that there is no clock. I disagree. With a clock there might be more consistent urgency, more motion and more action. Is that a bad thing?

Joe Buck and Tim McCarver have no business broadcasting games, together or separately. Think about it. Ask your friends (provided, of course, that you have any). Find some one who is willing to admit that they like these guys calling games. Is there one person in America not related to Buck or McCarver that looks forward to their brand of broadcasting? They have no charisma, they are boring, predictable and dragging the games down. The network attempted to bring some life to the booth for the championship series by including Luis Gonzales. That was a colossal failure.

Then there is Scooter, the annoying (to say the least) animated baseball endeavoring to explain the various pitches to the casual fan. Will any of us who saw it ever recover from Jeff Suppan's ill fated appearance with Scooter, rebroadcast during Game 3? I think not. I know he was trying to be funny, but I can't forgive him for failing so drastically. And if my name were Suppan, and you called me Soup, there would be both consequences and repercussions.

Baseball is really dying before our eyes. Yeah, they set an attendance record this season. That's nice, but when your marquee event's TV ratings decline year after year you have a serious problem. Crowning 7 different champions in 7 years may point to parity and competitive balance, but have teams leveled up or leveled down? I think baseball has leveled down. There are no great teams, and very few great players. There are even fewer compelling stories. When we look back on this postseason, will we remember it for having one of the weaker champions of all time, or for it bringing the demise of Steve "Psycho" Lyons?

As I type this, FOX put a fitting signature on this evening's broadcast. Joe Buck finally revealed the ultimate mystery of baseball. His final thought: "There can be only one champion." No way! Really? I was under the impression that there could be 13 or 14 or an infinite number of champions. And as the credits roll, what does FOX play? A cover of U2's One. And a very bad one at that. Apparently they couldn't get the Kenny G cover of Juicy by the Notorious BIG (I am aware that was also a cover).

This World Series was terrible because the media built up the Tigers until we were sick to death of them. And then the Tigers, whether because of the layoff, the team buying into the media coverage and letting down or a combination thereof, bombed and bombed badly. Now we have the Cardinals as a reigning World Series champion, and who cares? No one likes the Cardinals because they are eminently dislikeable.

Maybe Albert Pujols is the best hitter in the world, but he has no personality. He's not marketable the way Jeter or Ortiz or even Manny can be marketed to the masses. He has all the charisma of the Frankenstein monster in the original cinematic version. Then there is Jim Edmonds, the least likeable centerfielder since Ty Cobb. Duncan, Taguchi, Belliard, Molina, Rolen, Spezio. Those names don't exactly leap off the page, do they? Even with that stupid red beard on Spezio.

David Eckstein, the All American boy (Jim Leyland's words, not mine)? More like that hall monitor that always ratted you out for breaking whichever of the insipid rules elementary schools use to thwart the creativity of the individual (I was less than a model student as a youngster), without, of course, the bear mace and religious fervor that made Cartman such a success in a recent South Park. And if proud NH product (as though that weren't a massive contradiction) Chris Carpenter ever despairs of living free, I won't miss him should he try the other half of New Hampshire's glorious motto.

If you can't tell by now, I wanted to see the Tigers win. Alas, Placido Polanco didn't want to hit. The Tigers pitchers didn't want to field their positions correctly. And Curtis Granderson wanted to play centerfield like a drunken sailor in Game 3. There is more blame to go around, as is always the case with a catastrophe of this magnitude, but there isn't enough time to get into it now. I'll just have to deal with my disappointment.

Before I sign off, I think this point must be addressed. Jim Rome, among others, has discovered a disturbing trend in America today. Shawne Merriman tested positive for steroids, and it isn't as big a deal as the baseball steroid witch hunt. This double standard exists for two reasons. First, we expect more violence from our football players so we are willing to look the other way when they enhance their natural gifts with banned substances. We also focus so much of our energy on our fantasy teams and football gambling that we look the other way in these cases.

There is another way to look at it. Perhaps we reacted to the Merriman suspension the way we did because the NFL has a history of suspending players for steroid use that goes back more than two decades, and not until Congress wasted time and millions of dollars in a farce two years ago. I'm sure I'm wrong though, because my way of thinking would require Jim Rome and his followers to step down from the soap box and spare us the anger of the righteous. I don't think any of us want to live in world like that.

As the fourth quarter of this evening's NFL Monday Night Football game between the Chicago Bears and the Arizona Cardinals winds down, it looks like a fair number of pundits and commentators might be calling in sick tomorrow. Physical therapists across the nation will be treating them for a variety of minor injuries like muscle pulls and joint sprains associated with awkward landings. The Chicago Bears bandwagon might have some good seats available this week.

I have complained a time or two that the media make too much of the most recent performance when they do their analysis. The Bears look awful on offense tonight, and the defense hasn't made enough plays to beat the Cardinals. As I write this, the Edge has fumbled and Charles Tillman took it in for the TD. They are not done yet.

It was only a matter of time until Rex Grossman came back to Earth. He take a lot of chances, he doesn't have much game experience. He hasn't had to battle through a bad road performance like this has been to this point (3:27 and counting, now). The Bears, as a group, don't have that much big game experience. Yes, they made the playoffs last season, and there are some holdovers from the team Dick Jauron took to the playoffs.

In those years, they didn't have to battle their way into the playoffs. Their division just sort of opened up for them. Right now, it looks like the NFC North is going to open up for them again. Green Bay is dreadful. Detroit is four back in the loss column. Minnesota has shocked me thus far, by winning a couple of games. I thought they were going to be much worse (and they aren't very good). Chicago has one game remaining against each of their division rivals, and there is no reason to doubt that the Bears could go 5-1, or even 6-0 in the NFC North.

Devin Hester has just returned a punt for a TD with about 3:00 remaining, giving the Bears a 24-23 lead, in a game where Rex Grossman threw 4 picks, and the offense managed to score all of 0 points. If you are a glass half full person, then you see visions of the 2000 Ravens who weathered a multiple game stretch in midseason without an offensive TD. If you're a glass half empty type, the Bears were overrated and Arizona exposed them tonight. Neil Rackers just missed the kick, the Bears won the game.

I am a pessimist, as a general rule, but I'm also a contrarian. The NFL season, as cliche tells us, is not a sprint, but a marathon. The thing is, to get through the season, a team needs some help at different points along the line. Yes, the offense did nothing, or less than nothing when you factor in the six turnovers. Yes, they needed a 21 point effort from their defense and special teams. But is that a reason to abandon the bandwagon?

To those who say that it is a reason to jump off the Bears' bandwagon, I can't deny they looked bad on offense tonight. It made one think with longing of the glory days of Kyle Orton. But I think it's too soon to forsake them. I would like those who want to stop believing in Chicago breakdown the 1972 Dolphins' perfect season. I haven't looked at it myself yet, but I'm sure there must have been one game they could have lost somewhere along that storybook season. At the end of the day, unless you're Billy Beane or Peyton Manning, it's the win that matters.

I posed the question two weeks ago, and it is going to be a running theme as the season progresses. Can the Bears win the Super Bowl? I didn't have a definitive answer then, and I still don't. Believe it or not, I am more inclined to say that these Bears can win it all than I was then. Adversity is important in the shaping of a team's character. Depending on how the Bears come out from their bye week (not just the San Fran game, but the two or three following it), I think I will be ready to give my answer by mid November.

If they can get a more consistent offensive performance, this Bears team could be unstoppable. If they don't calm down a little bit, they are eminently beatable. There is no way this team can go undefeated. I said it to a friend (believe it or not, I have friends) on the blower before the game tonight. They have to play St. Louis in the Edward Jones Dome, and the Bears have not been a good indoor team in their history. There is the three game stretch in November where they play both New York teams and the veritable gods among men that call Gillette Stadium their Valhalla.

The Cardinals were up by 20 in the second half, and collapsed. Some of the better opponent's who will face the Bears as the season progresses will not collapse under the same pressure. The Bears need to learn from this game, and temper their confidence. Perhaps a wave of refugees from the Chicago bandwagon will wake them up.

As a fan of My Name is Earl, I think there is a lot to be said for the effect karma can have. One reason I am reluctant to wholeheartedly endorse this Bears team is that a lot of negative karma is still hovering over the Chicago football landscape. The premature demise of a Bears team that should have become a dynasty atoned for the Super Bowl Shuffle video. For those a more serious punishment should have been meted out, remember that the proceeds from the video went to charity.

There is some negative karma lingering from the Bears Super Bowl team that may never be exorcised. There is a video from the Super Bowl season featuring Harold Washington, then mayor of Chicago with a group of women dressed as cheerleaders. The women sing a song that goes: "Should we give them the finger? Yeah, yeah. We're number one, we're number one, we're number one, one one." I tried to find it on YouTube, with no luck tonight. But you can see it from time to time on extended highlights of the 85 season on ESPN. I'll look again, and if I find it I'll post the link to it.

The first day of the Divisional Round is now behind us. And it was a good day. Of course any day that teams are playing playoff baseball, and the Red Sox aren't one of them, is a good day in my world. Not quite good enough that it gets me referring to myself in the third person, but close.

I'm not sure who I want to win at this point. Obviously, it will depress the Red Sox organization and their fans if the Yankees win. That should make me happy because I am a sad, small person in many ways. But I admit that about myself, which makes me a better person. So it all evens out in the end.

I do know one thing. I don't want any of the National League teams to win. I hate the Cardinals. For several reasons. First, they lost the 2004 World Series to the hated Red Sox in depressingly short order. Secondly, they are owned by Anheuser Busch, and I am a High Life drinker (although in the interest of honesty, I must confess that I will drink Bud Light if I'm not buying it and I do like Bud Select). I think my anti-Bud stance can, in small part, be traced to the movie Rooster Cogburn and the Lady (the not entirely disappointing sequel to one of my all time favorites, True Grit), and the sentiment that Rooster Cogburn and his alcoholic cat did not like St. Louis beer.

I don't really care about the Padres, even though they have former Red Sox like Todd Walker, Mark Belhorn and Josh Bard (even though he was on the Sox for about 3 weeks). I have to root against the Dodgers and Grady Little. I don't know what would have to happen for me to root for a team with Nomar on it. I still hate him just as much now as I did when he played for the Sox. I hate the Mets too.

In the AL, I wouldn't mind seeing either the Yankees or the Tigers emerge. I hate the Twins (and all Minnesota teams) because I hate the Vikings. I guess it's like a transitive property of petty hatred. Unless of course my math analogy is incorrect, then it's some other property of hatred, still petty, though. I also hate the As. I think there ought to be a moratorium on declaring a baseball GM a genius until he's won a World Series. In the end of the day in the harsh world of professional sports, the runner up is just the king of the losers. Only this and nothing more. So I guess the guy who can't get out of the first round is like the jack of the losers.

So I guess those of us who wish minor misfortune on Red Sox Nation must back the Yankees. After all, the new commercial for playoff baseball with Tommy Lasorda coaxing a reluctant Red Sox fan from her room to root against the Yankees should provide ample motivation. I imagine it it could be worse. At least it's one more spot where a network isn't showing the "Go, boy, go" Dockers ad and Peyton Manning isn't in it. I guess I should be more grateful for small favors.
PS - To those few of you who read this, I offer the following disclaimer. If you're under 21 and you decide to drink because of this post, it's not my fault. You're a moron. If you're under 21, 21 or over 21 and you undertake to get a cat drunk because of this post, it's also not my fault. You're an even bigger moron. At some point, you have to be responsible for your own decisions.

Would that I had more to say on the A's punking the Red Sox this evening, but who can do a beating like that justice? Plus it was my misfortune to run into a cat with a 2004 World Series ring this evening. That coupled with an old friend who told him that I stopped drinking St. Louis beer (Bud/Bud Light) in the wake of the Cardinals collapse in that unfortunate series is enough to put a damper on my enthusiasm. In my defense, I am (and have been since those who know the Cincinnati Kid can remember) a Miller High Life drinker.

The Cardinals awful play is merely one excuse for not drinking St. Louis beer. I have some others, but I will not expend both barrels on Anheiser Busch until I get paid for it. The only reason I'm posting tonight is that I have been alerted to the existence of this site recently. It can take you to this site, which was surprising and disappointing for a brief moment, until one realized that the English and their govt were left behind in the New World.

Go here, and see how short and expensive life can be. I must say I wish I had more to add, but I must disappoint my loyal readers. All I can say is got to the site above, or click on this particular link. Even if it won't find you treasure, it might help you find the missing piece which can make us all soldiers.

It is now about 36 hours after the main portion of this post was composed. I have no idea what the hell I was thinking when I wrote it. I don't know why I made the English government reference. I have no idea what it meant. Nor do I understand where the make us all soldiers bit came from. The original intention with the last link above (which sends you to a site entitled "When Tools Attack") was to make some bad joke about tools attacking failing to include the Red Sox who are, as we all know, giant tools.

It wouldn't have been very funny, so I guess it's just as well that I went the Kellen Winslow II route. It was certainly in poor taste with the unpleasantness overseas, so I apologize. Part of me wanted to delete this post altogether, but in the spirit of honesty and cynicism that are the hallmarks of this blog, I had to leave it up with my apology. This is yet one more from the long list of reasons why one shouldn't drink and blog.

From beer with dinner to White Russians at the bar to more beer on my return, I should never have posted. But I did, and I won't try to save myself the embarassment. I only wish I had the flight data recorder going to help me understand the English in the New World referrence. All I can say in my defense is that at least I wasn't dumb enough to drive that night.