Who is Travis Buck? Up until tonight, it seemed like he was nobody. Then he came up to bat in the hallowed stadium in the Fens this evening, facing the single greatest closer in the history of the world, provided of course you limit that history to April-July of 2006. Travis Buck committed a cardinal sin, one for which the Universe will exact a horrible vengeance. He dared hit a home run off of Jonathan Papelbon, handing that fearsome reliever his first blown save of the season.

Having the best record in baseball in April is all well and good, and going through a whole month of baseball without a blown save is the first step on the way to a World Series win. But could it be that there are some flaws beginning to emerge in the mighty Red Sox facade? They started out strong, taking a four run lead bu the end of the third inning. And then they allowed the As to score five unanswered runs.

And in blowing his first save of the season, Papelbon threw 35 pitches. That's an awful lot for a guy with arm concerns. It's even more when you consider the fact that the team is taking every conceivable measure to limit his appearances and keep him from overtaxing his mighty arm. Sooner or later, the team will need more out of its bullpen than it can deliver.

Okajima has massively exceeded expectations, to my disappointment, but there is no guarantee that he can sustain this performance level over 50 appearances. Timlin is not a spring chicken anymore. Brendan Donnelly is a fearsome competitor when it comes to getting into shoving matches with Jose Guillen, but he took the loss tonight. Who knows when they'll need a big performance out of Papelbon again? And who is 100% convinced that a guy who looked pretty tired in his lone inning of work tonight can keep pitching at the level the Red Sox require to sustain this momentum? Plus the Yankees are playing the Rangers right now, and looked like they might come alive any day now.

The Dallas Mavericks managed to stave off elimination tonight, winning Game Five in their series with the Golden State Warriors. It's depressing, but I can't shake the feeling that they are poised to make a run in the next two games entirely too reminiscent of the run Miami made right over them in last year's Finals. I really don't want to see that happen, but for some reason I can't get too motivated to root for Golden State.

I'm not sure why. They play a very entertaining brand of basketball, in fact their style is very close to what basketball ought to be. Plus I really hate Dallas. I think it's Baron Davis that is turning me away from the Warriors. Look at this video of Baron Davis clapping in the process of being ejected from Game Two of this series. I don't really know how to describe it, but it's eerie. I've never seen anyone clap in such a maniacal fashion. Watching the guy clap like that got me thinking that he just might have a freezer full of body parts (human, animal, both) in a garage somewhere in the suburbs of the Bay Area.



Just a bit more on the NFL Draft, I was not particularly impressed with the Bears top pick in the recent draft. I think Greg Olsen has a chance to be a very good tight end in the NFL, but I think they had bigger problems to address. I think they could have used Alan Branch, even though Mel Kiper wasn't in love with his work ethic. They very nearly lucked into him with their second round pick, but Arizona made a crafty move to trade ahead of them.

I was also hoping they'd get a chance at Joe Staley when Kansas City didn't take him. I, or more precisely my fantasy team, badly needed Kansas City to take the best available offensive lineman. Larry Johnson was the centerpiece of my team for the last season and a half (it's a keeper league). Now, there is the fact that it's been many moons since a back who set the NFL record for carries in a season came back strong the following year. Signs do not point to LJ having a very good year behind a makeshift offensive line which has not recovered from the retirement of Willie Roaf and now Will Shields is gone. Bad times, but I can't let LJ go at the moment.

But back to Greg Olsen...

After today's revelation that Olsen was part of a group of nitwits who recorded an obscene, sexist rap song as freshmen at the U and Jay Mariotti's "effort" to waddle his way to the moral high ground on the subject, I'm inching my way closer to supporting him. In the interest of full disclosure, since I did not own up to the fact that I called out a Red Sox pitcher in my tirade against said team's proclivity for beaning opponents to send messages because he's hit more batters than any other pitcher since 2003 without mentioning that the pitcher in question throws knuckleballs and a fastball that is slower than most changeups, Greg Olsen forsook the University of Notre Dame to play for Miami. So I'm still not particularly inclined to empathize with him.

I know I piled up some tool of note segments yesterday, but believe it or not, I have more. Check out this hilariously disappointing video of a tool trying to power slide/burn out in a Barbie convertible. It's disappointing because there is no audio and it's difficult to tell just how fast he was going at the time of the incident. What a shame.

Perhaps I'm being cruel in enjoying what appeared to be a fairly painful injury as much as I am. But it serves him right. The odds of me experiencing a similar injury have to be in the trillions to one against. There is no way that I'd get into a Barbie car in the first place. I certainly wouldn't allow any observer to record the moment for people like me to mock. And if by some ghastly set of circumstances I broke one or both of those restrictions, I sure as hell wouldn't try some Fast and the Furious style nonsense whilst driving a roofless vehicle designed for little children. So this nitwit deserves to be mocked.

Then there is this video. I'm not sure if it qualifies as a tool of note segment. But it's worth watching. Some unknown person operating under the moniker Leeroy Jenkins is roaming the World of Warcraft landscape and leading unsuspecting gamers into ambushes. I have to salute him for the industry he has exhibited in his quest to tool on tools.



However, World of Warcraft is reeling from being mocked in South Park last year and a recent episode of the Simpsons. Plus it seems like a hell of a lot of time and effort for about 15 minutes of genuine entertainment.

You're walking away and they're talking behind you
They will never forget you 'til somebody new comes along
Where you been lately? There's a new kid in town
Everybody loves him, don't they?
Now he's holding her, and you're still around
Oh, my, my
There's a new kid in town

-from The Eagles song "New Kid in Town" written by Don Henley, Glenn Frey and John David Souther

Tonight marks the one year anniversary of the first post in the history of Sedition in Red Sox Nation. And what a night for it. There's nothing like seeing the mighty Red Sox fall victim to a 21 year old pitcher throw seven innings of no hit ball. If that weren't enough, there were two subplots that may go largely unnoticed as the mainstream media and the fans of Red Sox Nation embrace their small moral victories and silver linings in the form of Daisuke Matsuzaka shutting Ichiro down and JD Drew's seeing-eye single to end the no-hit bid.

The impressive pitching performance of Felix Hernandez inspired me to preface tonight's post with that quote from The Eagles' "The New Kid in Town." Matsuzaka was the new kid in town, but it was the younger, less heralded Seattle starter who stole the show. It would have been too perfect for him to throw a no-hitter in Friendly Fenway tonight. That's why I don't feel too bad that I was in the process of dialing the guy I go to for my Red Sox info (not to be confused with the guy who comes to me with his Red Sox info and told me that he'd be happy with a 12-7 split in the Red Sox favor against the Yanks last year, since I have multiple friends in Red Sox Nation, most of whom have been uncharacteristically if not unexpectedly silent tonight).

I am not going to go on at greater length on the pitching performances in tonight's game. Orel Hersheiser, who is a Cy Young winner, former 20 game winner. World Series MVP and a paid professional baseball analyst, summed it up far better than I could, even if he lacked my wit, rambling verbosity and boundless capacity for personal rancor. In his opinion, he saw more velocity on the fastball, a greater capacity for changing speed, sharper breaking pitches and a younger player when he compared Felix Hernandez to Daisuke Matsuzaka. Far be it for me to dispute such sage analysis, especially when it favors an opponent of the Red Sox.

First, and perhaps most intriguing, is the demise of Jason Varitek. This blog has not been very kind to Jason Varitek over the past year. I hate Varitek, more so than any Red Sox position player with the possible exception of Nomar in the last 20 years. I've been like John the Baptist (in the least blasphemous possible sense) crying out in the wilderness that Varitek is overrated, that Varitek is a fraud, that Red Sox Nation is due for a rude awakening. And after tonight, I think I won't be alone in that regard for much longer.

For years, I've listened to Red Sox fans talk about how tough he is, how much value a switch hitting catcher adds to the lineup, how well he handled the staff and how great his defense has been. I have never believed it. In fact, I went to great lengths to dispute Varitek's toughness in a post last April.

Tonight, Varitek just might have shown Red Sox Nation that I've been right about him all along. With the possible exception of the aberration in yesterday's home opener, Varitek has done little or nothing at the plate to justify his spot in the lineup. He could hang his hat on the fact that he was an adequate defensive catcher and he handled the pitching staff effectively. Varitek was covered under the "I Want You, I Need You but There Ain't Know Way I'm Ever Gonna Love You" principle of Meat Loaf's Two Out Of Three Ain't Bad Postulate.

Unfortunately, Meat Loaf has been preoccupied with demolishing Bill Simmons in Celebrity Fantasy Basketball, and he has not been able to offer any guidance for how one ought to handle a situation where only one of three requirements is met. Red Sox Nation might be sorely in need of his guidance, as Varitek's defensive prowess has apparently deserted him. First, he lost the ball on the tag while the Mariners scored the first run of the game. Then the ball bounced off of him as he endeavored to block the plate against the second run, which scored anyway.

Now, one might argue that Manny should have made a better throw to the plate to stop the first run from scoring. We live in an imperfect world, and a good defensive catcher would have turned that less than perfect throw into an out instead of the eventual winning run. I would offer Johjima as a counter example (especially since he hit Matsuzaka sharply), but since no Red Sox runner managed to get to scoring position, let alone home plate, the point is moot.

As for that throw that bounced off of Varitek, it allowed Adrian Beltre to advance to third base. One might argue that said runner would have gone on to score the third and final run of the game on the subsequent single by Jose Vidro. However, the fact remains that Varitek took much more from the table by failing to hit safely and submitting a sub par effort defensively than he brought by handling the pitchers, even one who hails from a different culture and speaks a different primary language.

As an aside, I wonder how badly Daisuke Matsuzaka needs his interpreter. I can't say I blame him, because I would jump at the chance to place any buffer between myself and the Boston media I could should my job require me to interact with them. It's just that I've been hearing of the general excellence of Japanese schools and their marked superiority to their American counterparts for years now. I can't help but think that Matsuzaka probably speaks English with a proficiency that could not help but put many of his American fans to shame if they compared his skill to theirs and they had sufficient mental capacity to feel shame.

The other subplot I noticed is that the bullying tactics favored by the Red Sox, and perhaps imperfectly employed by their new pitcher tonight, seem to have backfired. Brendan Donnelly, apparently not realizing that he was not one of the Black Donnellys, was very, very, very brave after he struck out his archnemesis Jose Guillen while on the favorable side of a blowout yesterday. It is also well documented that he drilled the next hitter with his "fastball" before getting the gate.

Apparently, Guillen was not intimidated. He drove a pitch from Matsuzaka off the Green Monster and later scored in his first at bat. Since I am they type of person who believes in coincidence only when they benefit my side, I have to think that it wasn't an accident when a pitcher who commands all of his pitches as well as Daisuke Matsuzaka hit Guillen in a subsequent at bat. Unfortunately, the Mariners were not intimidated tonight.

More attention will be paid to the bullying tactics of the Red Sox in future posts, but I am tired, hungry and eager to celebrate the defeat of Daisuke Matsuzaka by watching the new South Park at midnight before I go to bed. So, good night and bad luck the the Red Sox.