So, our long national nightmare drags on. The Patriots are still undefeated. The Giants did manage to play surprisingly well. I have never had much faith in either Tom Coughlin or Eli Manning, so I went into the bar to watch last night's game without a lot of hope. And the Giants played just well enough to get me excited, only to pull the rug out from under me when they eventually collapsed.

There are some encouraging signs. Tom Brady set the single season passing TD record. Randy Moss set the single season receiving TD record. The Patriots set the single season scoring record. And they became the first team to go through a sixteen game regular season without losing. And in all of that I can still find some positive aspects.

First, the last two QBs who set the single season passing TD record did so in seasons which did not culminate in championships. Then there's the fact that Jerry Rice set the single season record for TD receptions in a season in which the 49ers didn't win the Super Bowl. And the last two teams that set the single season scoring record (the 1983 Redskins and the 1998 Vikings) failed to win the Super Bowl. Not only that but the suffered embarrassing losses (the Raiders blew the Redskins out in the Super Bowl and mighty Minnesota lost to a terrible Atlanta team at home in OT in the NFC Championship Game).

It is true that this season for the Patriots has been utterly without precedent, from the head coach being mired in the most inexplicable scandal since Watergate (why, by the way, did Nixon even bother breaking into the DNC offices? He went on to win 49 states, were his preliminary polling numbers that out of whack?) to the 16-0 finish. But only one team has finished a regular season undefeated and gone on to win it all since the days of the Decatur Staleys and a ten team league. That was the 1972 Dolphins. There were two Bears teams in the late 30s and early 40s era that went undefeated but lost the NFL Championship Game.

I guess it depends on perspective. One can see history and karma being full square behind this Patriots team, or one can see history and karma setting a massive ambush for this mob of cocky nitwits. And based on the crowd at the bar last night, I get the sense that very few people deserve a comeuppance more than Pats fans. I actually overheard a guy at the bar refer to Mangini as "Mangina." And he seemed to be one of the more enlightened and articulate Pats fans in the place.

Far more vexing at the moment was the crime against aesthetic sensibilities perpetrated by the Dallas Cowboys this afternoon in the nation's capital. What the hell happened there? Did Jerry Jones forget the shipment of Diet Pepsi Max? Did he finally grab the headset from Jason Garrett and take the helm? I know the weather was frightful, but with the way they played you'd think that none of the Cowboys had ever seen rain before in their lives.

Having said that, I am not too nervous about their chances to advance to the Super Bowl. After all, most of the same people who are hyping the dangers of facing the Redskins in the playoffs were sitting there around Thanksgiving time telling us exactly how dangerous the Minnesota Vikings would be in the playoffs. Funny how that ended up working out these last few weeks.

I suppose it is unfair to dismiss the Vikings at this point. After all, they do still have the potential to surprise a few teams this postseason. I imagine they just might be able to rush onto the field in Seattle or Pittsburgh as though it were Wrestlemania. Or they could really impress the other guests at whatever resorts they will visit while the teams that actually made the playoffs are busing playing this January.

I would like to see the Redskins win next week. Even before I earned the ire of a few losers who root for the Seahawks, I didn't much care for the team. I just didn't like the way the team and the fans reacted to the bad calls in the Super Bowl two seasons ago. It's not as though they would have been so interested in the pure technical art of officiating a professional football game had the calls gone in their favor. Plus Matt Hasselbeck is a bald whiner and a proud product of Boston College.

I just don't see it happening. Todd Collins has been a great story so far and they have the sympathetic angle covered because of the tragic death of Sean Taylor. But that sort of thing only takes a team so far in the playoffs. I remember back in 1991 when Mike Utley was paralyzed playing for the Lions and his thumb up gesture as he was carted from the field galvanized the team for its stretch run. They made it all the way to the NFC title game, but it all came to a crashing halt against the Redskins under the first Gibbs administration.

Incidentally, that was also the year that the Falcons latched on to the MC Hammer song To Legit to Quit. Of course, like so many of my digressions, this has no real point. But they rode the momentum of that dreadful song and the pointless human interest story it generated for nearly two months. Fortunately, they rode the momentum right into the divisional round in old RFK Stadium and the Redskins crushed them 56-17. I really don't know why I bring that up, except that it is on my mind right now, and (at least to me) moderately amusing.

What really concerns me about the Redskins going forward is their defensive backfield. This is a trifle indelicate, considering I've already mentioned that their Pro Bowl caliber safety was murdered in the not too distant past. But I just don't see them being able to contain the Seahawks vastly overrated group of wide receivers. Stopping the Cowboys today, with TO on the sidelines and an understrength Terry Glenn trying to get some game action prior to the playoffs in a driving rain storm is one thing. Holding down Bobby Engram and Nate Burleson in front of the even more massively overrated 12th Man is a whole different story.

I will, I think, be posting more about the playoff matchups as we get closer to game time next weekend. I also have to collect my thoughts tomorrow to see if I can find a way to talk myself into a plausible scenario which ends in Illinois beating USC in their first bowl game since 2001. It's definitely doable, but I have to consider the ramifications of the SIRSN jinx, which has claimed more victims in the last 18 months than the SI jinx has in its lifetime, I think.

I'm sorry I haven't been more diligent about posting new material lately. What do you want from me? I've been more than a little disappointed by the recent run of success for the Boston teams that I hate. And the more I post to complain about them, the better they seem to do. It's just some sort of terrible nightmare, although admittedly of very minor proportions.

I have decided to take a new tack in dealing with the Celtics. Even though Ainge's panic moves seem, for the moment, to have worked out as well as could be expected, my distaste for the current regime still lingers from the Antoine situation. I also have serious qualms about jumping on a bandwagon, so I'm not rooting for the Cs. I have, after about 14 seconds of intense thought on the matter, decided to root against the Celtics a little less aggressively than I've rooted against the Pats, the Sox and BC.

Either way, it should be win win for me. If I am somehow bringing good karma to the Red Sox, Patriots and other teams/causes I root against, then maybe by taking a low key approach I might somehow reverse that trend. And if the Cs should stay healthy and stay selfless long enough to go deep into the playoffs, at least I won't have a seven month body of work to show how short-sighted and wrong I can be at my worst.

And so it appears that the Patriots are on the verge of another blowout victory. At this point, I have given up on watching the game. It is now to the point of turning my stomach to see them do what they're doing. Running up the score is not tremendously cool to begin with, but to go for it on fourth down inside the ten yard line when you're up by four touchdowns is just a bit too excessive.

I know I quote and refer to Jimmy Johnson's maxim that one ought to get better players if one has a problem with being blown out by one's opponents. And in the main I agree with the saying. The rest of the NFL teams had their chances to acquire the players who now make up this team. They also had their chances to get better players than the ones who can't stand up to the Patriots. So it's their fault that the Pats kick their asses, and kick them hard week in and week out as though they were General Sherman marching through Georgia.

But it's gone on long enough. Bill Belichick, and to a lesser extent his players, are emulating two of the more admired figures in the pantheon of dbags - the petulant child and the bully. Perhaps the NFL overreacted in their sanctions following the scandal in the Meadowlands. Maybe every single other owner, player, front office functionary and concession stand worker in the NFL failed miserably to do their moral duty and come to Bill Belichick's defense. After all, the man is the heart and soul not only of the NFL but of the American Republic as a whole. Just ask him, and if he's not too vexed by the weight of the world on his shoulders, he'll tell you.

Maybe it will be a sublime comeuppance should the Patriots march to 19-0 and net a top three pick in the upcoming NFL draft thanks to the 49ers finding new and different ways to get worse from week to week. Is that really the object of the exercise, or should it be? For five years now, I've had to sit and listen to every talking head even peripherally associated with the industry that is American professional football tell the world that the New England Patriots are the model for the way the game ought to be played. For five years we were told that the Patriots won with class and dignity, with an overall team concept and without the trappings of ego that seem to turn off so many fans.

Now, for the sake of avenging a slight in the form of an official overreaction to what was a moderately dirty deed, the Patriots have essentially taken that notion out back and put a bullet in its brain. There was nothing classy, dignified or admirable about the manner in which the Patriots defeated the Bills. Even worse, it's unsound business, or it will be after a certain point. I am a huge football fan, and I'm not watching the only football game on the air at the moment because it's not that entertaining to see a team be destroyed for 60 minutes of football.

I'm also tired of the whole get-up that Belichick rocks on the sidelines. Yeah, we get the point, it's the whole ironic commentary on the NFL deal with Reebok to provide coaches apparel and the foolish consistencies which are the hobgoblins of little minds. Unfortunately a fifty year old dude doesn't wear the shallow teen-aged rebellion particularly well.

I wonder if and/or when more people will start to feel that the Patriots have ceased doing the right thing for some time now. I know that there are Patriots fans who see this as payback for all those blissful years when the Patriots were so bad for so long and so often on the receiving end of lopsided scores. Maybe they're right. I just know I'm becoming less interested in watching this team play. And I'm a guy that has been known to make time to watch the Senior Bowl practice sessions.

As this season gets closer to the end, I have my own version of the perfect ending to this storybook season. I would like to see the Patriots go 16-0 in the regular season and then lose in the divisional round of the playoffs on the hallowed 13 month old field turf at Gillette Stadium. Perhaps a more conventional ending might have them make it all the way to the Super Bowl before they finally lost, but I like my scenario better. It would hurt Pats fans more, I think, if they lost out of the blue in their house right off that coveted first round bye.

If a few other wrinkles were added to the story line, such as a visiting player grabbing that ridiculous cut-off hoodie and pulling it over Belichick's head as though it were a hockey fight, that would put a smile on my face. I try, for the most part, not to condone violence in this space, but I am an imperfect man in many respects. I think it would be too much to ask to have some concerned citizen hurl a football into his groin to reenact the George C. Scott in Man Being Hit By Football bit from the Simpsons of yesteryear. But that would be damn funny also.

And so, Notre Dame finally won a home game. Yes, it was against Duke which just might be the worst team in the Bowl Subdivision series. But Robert Hughes looked very good. If they could ever sort out the abysmal play of the offensive line and the young backs can build on the strides they've made this season, perhaps James Aldridge and Robert Hughes can form a 1-2 punch in the backfield sort of like Cadillac Williams and Ronnie Brown at Auburn. But that's probably too optimistic an outlook to take.

I don't have too much more to say at this point, though I will be posting more material over the next couple of days. I'm going to see Springsteen tomorrow night, so I'm taking it easy tonight. I'll have a lot to say about his show, I'm sure.

Weekends just keep on getting better for me, don't they? Next week I am forced at long last to root for the Indianapolis Colts to win a football game. I still hate the Colts, but far less so than I hate this incarnation of the New England Patriots. With each game, I like this Patriots team less and less.

The two images which will linger on longest in my mind from this "game" against the Washington Redskins will be Randy Moss committing offensive pass interference while the officials looked on without discharging their duties and Bill Belichick standing confused at midfield when the game ended and there was no opposing coach waiting to shake hands with him.

Imagine the audacity of Joe Gibbs, resenting the Patriots for scoring 44 points more than were needed to win. He should have been there waiting to congratulate Belichick for being God's gift to professional football. Even if he had to trample over widows and orphans to do it, Gibbs should have been there to render unto Belichick what is Belichick's.

I realize I'm in the habit of quoting or referring to Jimmy Johnson's response to Gerry Faust after the latter complained that Johnson had run up the score on his Fighting Irish team. Johnson's response was terse but to the point, as he said if you don't want to get blown out, then recruit better players. I am of the opinion that the Redskins should have taken steps necessary to ensure that they didn't find themselves on the wrong end of a 52-7 beating. But I don't blame Gibbs for not shaking Belichick's hand.

I am sure that I will be in the minority on this issue, since I am sure the sages of the Boston media like Shaughnessy, Ryan and the knuckle-dragging, mouth-breathing troglodytes at their rival newspaper will rise to Belichick's defense. After all, the Boston media is exceedingly reluctant to question or criticize the pride of the NFL since they know they are less formidable adversaries for the team owner than certain eccentric heads of state.

Back to the point at hand, I don't blame Gibbs for refusing to shake hands with Belichick after this game. It is true that he could have, and probably should have, done something more to prevent this from happening. That said, I don't remember the portion of the Johnson quote that enjoined the defeated to enjoy their defeat. After all, would Belichick have been the model of graciousness had the situation been reversed? I hardly think so.

It seems strange, after the episode with Eric Mangini at the end of the rgular season last year, to see Belichick the victim of an episode like this. But can one fairly say that Joe Gibbs refusing to meet Belichick at midfield was any more classless than Bleichick leaving Brady in as long as he did, or when he replaced Brady continuing to pass the ball with Castle and Gutierrez? I don't think so, and not just as a Patriot hater but as a general football fan.

I appreciate that it is generally advisable to have a backup quarterback with game experience on hand in the event that the unthinkable should happen to Tom Brady. However, a half dozen completions against a Redskins team that had given up the ghost two and a half quarters before said backup quarterback left the bench aren't going to serve Castle or Gutierrez particularly well should one or the other be pressed into service next week. And it doesn't earn any karma points with the powers that govern the football universe.

But kudos to Joe Gibbs for not worshipping at the altar of Belichick and actually rendering unto him what is due. Going forward, I don't really know what to think yet, about the Colts game next week. I'm not going to make any predictions for a long time, now. I just know I'm rooting for Indy, even if it hurts my soul to root for Manning. And I'm looking forward to the Freeny matchup with Matt Light.

To any Patriots fans who take issue with my claim that the Moss play was offensive pass interference, consider this. What if Terrell Owens had made the same move in a theoretical game in Foxboro? Would you not call for the Norfolk County Sheriff's deputies to haul him off for arraignment for felony assault in Wrentham District Court? Or if Assante Samuel found himself the victim of such a play (even if it is stretching the imagination to the breaking point to picture someone puling a stunt like that without getting a beating to rival that which Bruce Lee threw on the Ohara character in Enter the Dragon from Assante for his trouble), would the fans not demand justice? Or at the very least a flag?

Of late, I've been thinking of the end of Moby Dick. The movie, since I never had the courage to face the book. Captain Ahab stabbed at the white whale from Hell's heart, and fat lot of good it did him. The whale just kept right on swimming. And the World Series is now over. And I have this to say to Red Sox fans: GET FUCKED. But remember, I mean that in the nicest way possible.

It seems my panic about my fantasy team was all just a big waste of time. Thanks to a great second half from Tony Romo and TO, me team came back from the dead. It is still possible that I could lose, but it would require an earth-shattering performance from Anquan Boldin to bring my opponent back into striking distance. It almost makes me feel guilty for calling him Mr. Bean's stunt double in last night's post.

Today was a pretty good sports day, all things considered. My fantasy team is winning going away, so I don't have to eat all the trash I talked in the week leading up to the game. And things shook out as they should have in the New England sports scene. The Red Sox lost and the Patriots were caught cheating. Maybe not a perfect day, but I'll take it.

Scott Kazmir once again emasculated the mighty Red Sox lineup, employing his vast array of spit, shine and various and sundry other illegal balls to prevail in a 1-0 decision. You know he had to have cheated because the Red Sox hitters can't be thwarted so completely without some sort of chicanery being utilized against them. Unfortunately, this outcome cannot stand. Surely MLB will review the sublime performance of Curt Schilling and award him the victory to prevent him from suffering any indignity.

I must keep this brief tonight, as I am stunned into silence to see that the New England Patriots have been accused of stealing signals from their arch-rivals the New York Jets. I will not sit here and listen to any hint that a team coached by Bill Belichick could stoop to an underhanded, laughable psyche out ploy like this. Next thing you know, you'll be telling me that Belichick was the sort of guy who might be labelled a home wrecker in a nasty divorce case. Or that the team owner would be deprived of one of his world championship rings by a ruthless despot.

In other news, in a shameful ploy to exploit their new connection to Japan, the Red Sox will open the 2008 season in Japan, playing against the perennial underachievers from Oakland. The good news is that this will provide Red Sox fans with a convenient excuse when this team stumbles out of the gate next season. I should, perhaps, be a little bit more circumspect on this matter, since I have been assured that JD Drew will be a bargain next season. Maybe this trip to Japan is just a front to help him find his mojo.

For some reason, I have developed a knack for spotting tools in the crowd shots as I watch football games. Tonight's top tools include a guy in the Bengals stadium sporting a storm trooper costume from Star Wars painted orange with black stripes. If I had a picture to caption and a penchant for pathetic plays on words, I would caption said picture: "Attack of the Clowns." And then there was the guy in San Francisco who elected to rock a beanie with a propeller and a team logo beach towel or blanket as a cape. If that weren't enough, he meandered through the crowd playing a banjo. The ensemble is so pathetic it defies my ability to come up with an insult.

As I spoke about this with a friend this evening, the question came up as to whether one or the other could compete in a tool-off with the South Florida fan who wore a singlet to the Auburn game. I would give the edge to the guy in the singlet, since a man should never wear any skin tight garment in public. That is a woman's prerogative, provided that she's attractive.

I'm not sure if I should give you this link, but it's pretty damn funny. I would recommend that you exercise caution before you click it, as it is a bit loud and might be construed as offensive. I don't want to hear any complaining if you get your dumb ass fired opening this in an office or place of business. But it is a few laughs, so check the video out when you get a chance. And if you get offended, well, I tried to warn you.

It's finally happened. I suppose it was a matter of time, but I doubt any one expected it to come so suddenly. After decades of mocking kings, popes, God Almighty and any one and every one under the sun, the Onion has finally brought ruin down on itself. Where will we go to find out what larks Area Man and Area Woman have gotten themselves into this week. A legion of Patriots fans is now gathering. In about three years, after they learn basic navigation and develop opposable thumbs, the Onion is done like dinner.

For those who have not seen the slander most vile, here it is. The very idea that Bill Belichick could muddle his way through any question on any subject is anathema to a New Englander. We know that if this great coach and archdouche doesn't have a home-made particle accelerator somewhere on his fortified residential compound, it's because he lacks the time rather than a working knowledge of advanced multidisciplinary physics. That, and I'm reasonably sure the presence of a particle accelerator on the grounds of the Patriots team facilities would attract a certain amount of interest from several government agencies.

It's bad enough that LaDainian Tomlinson can get away with casting aspersions on the great Belichick. But when the NFL, the US government and all right thinking Americans tolerate a media outlet of questionable repute slandering the man who single-handedly saved the National Football League, I just don't think I can find the strength to go on. Belichick did save the NFL, just ask a Patriots fan. That conversation might get a little murky when you point out that the NFL hasn't faced a grave threat since 1987, but a command of current events and the ability to bring the powers of rational thought to bear on said events have never been the hallmarks of the New England sports fan.

That said, the article itself was a little disappointing. It wasn't very funny, in the first place. I felt they tried too hard to work in the economic angle, any question on any other subject would probably have been more amusing. That's the trouble with satire as a genre, when it's good it's great and when it's even average it's stale and disappointing. But, since I went 2 for 2 last week, I'm feeling arrogant enough to predict these games.

The past record doesn't mean very much when it comes time to lace up the spikes on game day. Neither Manning's long run of failure against the Patriots, nor his recent string of victories in Foxboro will have the impact that the media is giving them right now. As for my feeling, I want both teams to lose. Since that it impossible, I have to weigh my hatred of the Pats against my hatred of Peyton Manning. I simply do not want to live in a world where Peyton Manning is a champion. After all, I pronounced him an archfraud in this space in September. So I'm going with the Patriots.

Then there is this piece I discovered on Slate. If you are wondering why Slate pays people to write about football, or like me you wonder why Slate pays the people it pays to write about football, this will justify your sentiments. First of all, this tool runs down the idea of seeing a playoff game live. I've never seen an NFL playoff game in person, but I think it would easily be the most amazing experience of my life.

The game I saw at Gillette Stadium this season was fantastic. The playoff game which featured the largest single comeback in NBA postseason history (Celtics vs. Nets, 2001) was unbelievable. The overtime playoff loss to the New Jersey Devils (1994) I saw at the real Garden was awesome. I imagine an NFL playoff game would be like all of that combined and then some. I imagine it would rank right behind Springsteen's concert as the most amazing spectacle I've ever seen.

Atmosphere isn't overrated. Sitting in front of your TV, even if it is HD, is overrated. But even worse, this person referred to Shaun Alexander as Gimpy McHalfspeed in an article for which he was paid (in the interest of fairness, I must confess I didn't click that link to find out if it were an original or borrowed name. I was simply too depressed). Would that I were a douche with a prepackaged sense of humor, then I too could be paid for poor writing (and I am aware of the irony inherent in my criticizing another writer when this isn't exactly Charles Dickens).

Then there is this other participant in Slate's dialog on the NFL playoffs. Quick aside: Good call on the dialog format, Slate editors. After all, Plato is still jumping off the shelves these days for other reasons than the simple fact that educators will insist on force-feeding him to generations of people that really don't need it (far be it for me to discount the wisdom of the ancients, I just don't see the brilliance of the Republic, a work which continually runs down Athenian democracy while admitting that the work could not have been composed under any other system). I just don't like Plato, but now isn't the time for philosophy.

According to our commentator, weather will not be as big a factor as predicted. After all, most of the Bears players do not come from Chicago originally. But the Bears do have more recent experience at managing cold weather than the Saints do. Living on the Great Lakes, which tend to be a degree or two chillier than the Gulf Coast, and playing in Soldier Field (which is outdoors, and as such slightly cooler and a bit more windy than your average dome) might give them a slight edge over a team which comes from 1,000 miles to the South and is still practicing indoors.

In the end, I think the weather will give the Bears a slight edge, but one that will matter very little if they can't keep Deuce McAllister in check. I think the Bears will win the game. I see NO as somewhat better on offense than Seatlle and not quite as good on defense. As long as Rex doesn't make stupid mistakes, I think we're looking at a rematch.

In the Super Bowl, I see Kraft and Belichick using the two week layoff to pressure Dolphins management into converting the field format in another sad psychological ploy.

This weekend has given us all a lot to think about as the playoffs come to an end. I think the Verve said it best when they sang: "It's a bittersweet symphony, that's life." Unfortunately it turned out to be a very bittersweet symphony for the Verve when it turned out that they had sampled a symphonic version of "You Can't Always Get What You Want" by the Rolling Stones. That's a little bit ironic, when you lose the rights to your breakout song, it gets used in a Nike commercial even though your band was rabidly opposed to corporations. It's just a bittersweet symphony of not getting what you want. But anyway...

First and foremost, I spent today riveted to ESPN News awaiting the firestorm of consequences to catch up with LaDainian Tomlinson for impugning the class of the New England Patriots and their wily supergenius of a head coach. The blogosphere has been burning LT for his "sour grapes" attitude. But the mainstream media has yet to call for his deportation, deactivation or any other punishment that would fit his heinous crime.

The nerve of some people. It's not as if Bill Belichick has been mentioned as a home wrecker in divorce proceedings in New Jersey, after all. Oh wait, I'm sorry. He has. Plus he looks like an unmade bed on the sidelines and has a long track record of being a total douche. Let's not forget that he gave Magini the silent treatment (a gesture so immature that even I, the least mature person my age I know, think it's immature) for bailing out to coach the Jets when he pulled the same move in abandoning the Jets to coach the Pats. And of course there was the shove he gave a photographer, which I didn't really care about because it was kind of funny.

I don't have a problem with what LT said. In part, it's because I don't like the Patriots. Actually, I'm starting to hate the Patriots nearly as much as I hate the Danny Ainge Celtics, but that's a story for another day. Also, I don't think a guy who submitted a first rate offensive performance can be considered a whiner. It's not his fault that Shawmne Merriman has a foolish dance and a strange sense of timing. LaDainian Tomlinson did every thing he could to help his team win, he just needed a bit more help than he got.

I am the guy who got mad at the Michigan State players who got into an altercation with players from Illinois who were celebrating their first win in Spartan Stadium since 1994 at the fifty yard line. I also criticized the New York Giants and their fans when they complained that Mario Williams and David Carr dared imitate the "ballin'" jump shot celebration. Believe it or not, there is a difference as far as I'm concerned.

LaDainian Tomlinson played a great game, he could not have done more to defend his turf and his team's honor. The Giants and Spartans cannot make the same claim. Neither can Shaun Phillips who made the same sort of comment as LT today. Maybe it's hard to have a consistent reaction as a fan because the athletes and situations involved change so much over the course of a season and a career.

I have not been a big LT fan up till now. He's a great talent, he certainly deserves all the praise he has gotten to this point in his career based upon his numbers. He was the best player in the NFL this year, and, unlike some other MVPs in recent memory, he did not submit a disappointing individual effort in his lone playoff game.

More than anything else, I think LaDainian Tomlinson's comments did not bother me because it was his honest emotional reaction to a heartbreaking defeat. As Mike Holmgren said following the loss in Chicago, everything a player or coach has done over the last eight months was building to the one moment when a playoff game can be won or lost. And all of a sudden, it's over. And for the Chargers it was a shockingly abrupt and baffling ending. Every thing that could have gone wrong in the fourth quarter seemd to go wrong. A game that they dominated in the murky recesses of statistics went tragically wrong in the material sphere.

In all of that, frustrated, hurt and confused, LaDainian came right out and said what he felt. He was mad as hell, and he wasn't going to take it any more. Like Faith Hill's reaction after finding out that Carrie Underwood was female artist of the year at this past fall's Country Music Awards, LT's tirade shocked a lot of people who only knew him as the mild mannered back who scored a league record 31 TDs and never even spiked the ball. But the minute he said anything negative about the single most impressive dynasty of the last 5 years and the greatest coach of all time, then he was a selfish crybaby.

In case you care, I didn't have a problem with Faith Hill's negative reaction to the award going to Carrie Underwood. It seems every single person in America is so image conscious that they are terrified of showing any genuine emotional reaction to a disappointment. I am tired of good losers. You show me a good loser, and I'll show you a loser as the saying goes.

That said, I don't want to see more Peyton Mannings, either. Last year it was the protection, earlier this season it was the defense. Who knows who will be responsible this time around should the Colts fall victim to the Patriots? It surely can't be the quarterback. That much is clear. I only wonder if the fans in Indianapolis will be yelling "movers" should the breaks start beating the boys in Indy this weekend.

If you are a somewhat less than gracious loser once in a while, but you don't point the finger at people on your own side (unless you're TO), that's fine. If you keep going there, then you're Peyton Manning. After three or four centuries of going there, then you're French. The real tragedy of the Chargers falling this week is that I now must root for the Patriots this week. And after that, who knows? I guess there's always the NFC Champions. I want the Bears to win, since I held the bandwagon together in spite of some long odds and shoddy play from Rex Grossman. But I can live with the Saints far more easily than I could with the balding metrosexual and his mentor in the hack-a-hoodie. God forbid it be the Colts.

A number of things have surprised me this fall. Among the things that I never would have believed:

1. 30 Rock would be better than Studio 60.
2. Studio 60 would be the worst Aaron Sorkin episode ever.
3. 30 Rock would be watchable.
4. At this point in the season Tony Romo would be my fantasy football QB, and I'd be happy with that.
5. I would miss the most obvious explanation for the sudden demise of the New England Patriots.

Somewhere in the back of the Patriots training facility, a quiet, somber ceremony marking the burial of a laboratory mouse named Algernon. The pieces all fit so nicely now. Bill Belichick went from a catastrophic failure in Cleveland to a surprise champion to a fully fledged genius to the man steering the Titanic into the ice field while trying to set a trans-Atlantic speed record in the span of five years. The reason for this seems obvious: Bob Kraft and his team of scientists subjected Belichick to some sort of experimental surgery which turned him from chump to champ, but now it's all falling apart.

For those of you who might not have noticed the oh so subtle allusion in the preceding paragraph, it's Flowers for Algernon, the classic Daniel Keys novellette which then became a classic novel and then classic film. It's the story of a mentally handicapped man who underwent an experimental surgical procedure and for a time became a genius. He developed an affection for a mouse named Algernon who had also been a subject of the experiment. When he realized that his old friends had mocked him and now resented him, he became depressed. Then he discovered that the effect was only temporary, the mouse died, he reverted to his former state and became more depressed.

While my application of this story to Bill Belichick's as yet unexplained loss of mojo is a bit cruel and certainly insensitive, I think it's the only plausible explanation for the decline and fall of his Patriot empire. I can't believe I didn't see it before. It seems much more likely than a defensive coordinator passed over for the immortal Ray Handley and a catastrophic failure in Cleveland suddenly turning it all around only to lose it all so quickly without outside interference.

For Patriots fans who might read this, the somewhat obscure reference of the day is from the novel Flowers for Algernon. For those who aren't Patriots fans, I figured I'd repeat myself so that the Patriots fans might get it. While I did a quick google search to make sure that I wasn't ripping some one off by accident (I got no results that came to the same conclusion I did, they might still be out there, so I apologize), I came across this dude's myspace page. His page has inspired me to add a tool of the week segment to this blog. Hell, he might win the award for the next several weeks. Yikes. I hope you'll all join me in praying this genetic code does not infiltrate the next generation.

I know I'm going to hell for this post. That's one of the reasons why this blog has been updated six days in a row. I'm also taking a very large risk in posting this content at this time. I am getting on a plane on Sunday, flying for my holiday getaway. So I have this bad karma going for me, which is not nice. It won't work well with a fear of flying, and a fear of dying with 150 tools. I assume there will be at least that many tools on the flight, as the American tool is one of the world's great wonders. It is the great cross-cultural leveler, and one of our only renewable resources. Wish me luck. Flying is very hard for a misanthrope with aviphobia, but it beats driving, the bus or a train.

In honor of Coach Belichick's amazing contributions to this blog in the last 24 hours, I have decided to spell his name correctly from here on. It was announced that the team will convert Gillette Stadium from natural grass to field turf before the next home game. And then a couple of hours ago, I got a call informing me that the team went out and pulled out the free agent coup of the millennium. Who would have thought that Vinny Testaverde would still be available at this late date? Well, he was and the Pats are going to have him as an insurance policy.

First, the field. Why convert the field at this point in the season? Yeah, the grass was a mess and the mud a bit of a problem, but it seemed like a problem that would impact both teams equally. More importantly, is this legal? I've heard of fields being resodded (as the Gillette Stadium turf was resodded earlier this season), but never a complete conversion like this. Where is the precedent?

One could argue that it serves the team right for sharing a stadium with a soccer team. Not to mention using the facility ot host the Rolling Stones and Kenny Chesney. A more cynical person than I might suspect that this a bush league ploy to psyche out the Bears. Or a ploy to boost the home team's sagging morale after their first losing streak since 2002. Of course, I would not believe that for a minute. It's not like Belichick resorts to silly little mind games like fooling around with the team's injury report, after all. Oh wait...

And as for the man, the myth, the legend Vinny Testaverde, surely another person in the wide world must be better qualified to serve as the emergency quarterback for the New England Patriots. Let us not forget that the Jets dragged Testaverde from his quiet retirement last season after Chad Pennington and Jay Fiedler were knocked out for the season.

In the course of his season with the Jets, Testaverde started four games. He threw one touchdown, which made him the first player in NFL history to throw a TD in 19 consecutive years. Set that impressive accomplishment against six interceptions, and the accomplishment is suddenly less impressive. Testaverde was eventually replaced by Brooks Bollinger. Bollinger is now backing up Brad Johnson in Minnesota, in case you care.

If you'd read the ESPN article above, you'll know that the team is coming off of consecutive losses for the first time since 2002. You'll also know that Tom Brady hasn't been his best against Indianapolis and the Jets. A lot of that is not Tom's fault. His teammates, in particular Kevin Faulk, have not been much help. But the team is now faced with a situation. If Brady is hurt, or ineffective, the only quarterback left on the roster is Matt Castle.

Castle has very little game experience since he left high school. At USC he backed up Carson Palmer and Matt Leinart. Obviously those were two great college quarterbacks who have succeeded at the NFL level (or at the very least, in Leinart's case, shown great promise). If Castle is not a capable backup, someone must be blamed. I guess Patriots fans might as well blame me.

I have never worked for the team in any capacity. I have certainly never made any personnel decisions for them, but Bill Belichick can't be wrong. Not in this case, not for this reason. Not in any case, for any reason. He is a genius According to the media (who know all things), he is the embodiment of all the qualities that made Vince Lombardi and George Halas coaching legends and then some.

The NFL is very much a what have you done for me lately league. For everybody except Bill Belichick. Yes, he won three Super Bowls, and proud we are of all of them (apologies to Maude Lebowski). But since 2004, things have changed. Belichick and Paoli built the Patriot empire, and apparently they've earned the right to preside over its decline and fall. Make no mistake about it, that's what we're seeing. The Patriots simply aren't good enough to compete with the Broncos and the Colts.

Yes, the played the Colts somewhat close 10 days ago. But they relied on two missed field goals from the greatest clutch kicker in the history of professional football to keep it within one touchdown as the game came to an end. How often will something like that happen again? The old Patriots won those games when fortune smiled on them. The older Patriots just aren't good enough to beat a better team, even when luck is on their side.

Letting Vinatieri go, chasing Deion Branch out of town and pissing off Richard Seymour all fall under the prerogatives of the genius. Maybe they will pay dividends in the long run, but I doubt it. In the meantime, enjoy facing the Bears on the new field turf with old Vinny Testaverde waiting to throw into coverage should something happen to Tom Brady. But no one in the media with the minerals to ask Belichick why his team found itself in a position with no experienced backup at the most important position in sports.

No one has dared ask what happens if Brady is hurt? It was good scouting and good fortune that Tom Brady was there when Bledsoe went down (yes, the Pats were smart enough to recognize what they had, but a lot of teams had a few shots at him before that, and Lloyd Carr should have played him more at Michigan). What are the odds that Matt Castle is another Tom Brady? Not very good, I am afraid. What could last season's Monsters of the Midway have been with a better backup than the legend in Skip Bayless' mind, Kyle Orton? But why should Belichick have planned for that eventuality?

I've watched these Bears play a few times this season. They looked bad against Arizona and Miami, but they have a killer instinct that comes out against good teams. They murdered the Seahawks (without knocking a certain bald QB out of the game, like Minnesota did) and the Giants. If they smell blood, no new turf or ancient backup will stop them. I think they will devastate the Patriots. This is a very important game for the Pats, if they should pull of the upset the old days might return for a little while. If they get blown out, it's Crowded House time in Foxboro. They might make the playoffs (the Jets just aren't ready for prime time), but they won't win. And the dynasty is gone.

The New England Revolution lost the MLS championship game, and I am heartbroken. Not because I like the Revolution, or the MLS in general, but because I had hoped that league was a fad stemming from the nation hosting the World Cup in 1994. I was wrong. It's here to stay, but I (and the silent soccer hating majority) can hope.