For a little while, I found myself wondering whether I had been a bit unfair in my diatribe against the state of Connecticut. However, it is with a clear conscience and a wish that I could add even more unpleasant things to what I said earlier that I sit down to write this post tonight. You see, today I found myself driving through Connecticut and stuck in a traffic jam because for some reason, the right hand lane of I-95 North had to be closed so that the grass on the shoulder could be manicured with a weed whacker.

Now of all the days to do this, a Friday in the summer seems like an extremely poor choice. Perhaps no one alerted the powers-that-be in the CT Highway Department, but people like to flee NYC for summer destinations on Friday at noon. So closing off a lane of traffic so that a guy could trim the grass is not tremendously cool. Especially since that artificial traffic jam south of New Haven at noon puts people heading for Boston, the Cape or points north in pole position to hit traffic coming through Providence and then again as they get closer to their ultimate goal.

Of course I would be remiss if I didn't mention the fact that the Massachusetts transportation bureaucrats managed to turn the terrible tragedy of the manhole cover on 128 North into a traffic catastrophe of epic proportions today. But to be fair to MA, that was an unforeseen event that called for an immediate reaction and not a poor decision by a bureaucrat.

But there are other things to talk about tonight. We have one more feud where it seems impossible to take a side. Barry Bonds didn't like the Bob Costas show about him, so he called Costas a midget. Costas shot back that he may be all of 5-6 and 150, but he came by that physique naturally. Personally, I think some kind soul out to play the scene from Full Metal Jacket where the Drill Sergeant has unkind words for the Texan who tried to exaggerate his height for Mr. Costas, but that's just me.

I don't like feuds like this because they put me in a position of choosing between two people that I can't abide. In this instance, I think I have to be with Bonds because I hate Costas even more than I hate Bonds. Costas is a whiny midget and a jock-sniff who desperately tries to bring gravitas to the stories he covers. Unfortunately for him, pipsqueaks can't bring gravitas to much of anything. Thanks, though, for carrying your Mickey Mantle card in your wallet for so many years. That gives you street cred...

In other news, we can leave off worrying about the surging New York Yankees. Curt Schilling was phenomenal in his second rehab start. The season is once again over. One good thing about the return of Big Schill is that we now have a ballpark date for when the World of Warcraft craze will end. 38 Studios comes out with their own game along that line (but allegedly much better) sometime in 2010. So America's fascination with these games will end sometime about a week before the 38 Studios title hits the shelves.

I thought it was mighty decent of the Globe to throw the picture of Schilling's image as Everquest character on the front page of the business section. Since he's been on the DL, I've had very few opportunities to criticize Humpty Dumpty. But seeing his animated likeness in a suit of red armor, that's like a gift from Heaven. You didn't hear it from me, but rumor has it he chose Everquest over World of Warcraft because his online persona lives in mortal fear of our old friend Leeroy Jenkins and his penchant for leading unsuspecting gamers into ambushes.

Finally, tonight marks an auspicious night for the performing arts in the Greater Boston Area. Not in the 377 years since the Puritans settled Boston has one night seen such cultural significance as tonight, and maybe tomorrow. Two acts of tremendous eminence will grace stages in our city and we can tell our grandchildren we lived to see it.

In case you can't tell, I am unimpressed with the two showstoppers playing the Tweeter Center and the House that John Henry uses to shake down New England. I am so unimpressed that I am having a hard time determining which show impresses me the least. Under ordinary circumstances, I would have to say Kenny Chesney, as he basically ripped off his entire musical persona from Jimmy Buffet (whom I do not particularly like, as I don't smoke dope and prefer beer to tropical drinks) without the redeeming quality of having received a beating from the real life inspiration for the sheriff from Walking Tall (as Buffet did).

But the Police are impressing me less than Kenny Chesney at the moment. First, they were never that good, not even in the 1980s. Their hits are vastly overrated. Roxanne isn't good, it's annoying. Every Breath You Take was actually improved by Puff Daddy when he covered it. Take a minute to let that sink in. That's how bad the song was. A notorious cheese ball like Puff Daddy made the song better.

But since the Police had the good manners to have a controversial break up and flirt with this reunion tour for the last 20 years, people forget just how pathetic they were. Let's not forget, either, that Sting was in Dune. It's like the John Cougar Mellencamp comeback all over again. These frauds stay away for so long that people forget how bad they were, then people realize they like the political stances the artists have taken and next thing you know, the inherent artistic deficiencies are dismissed and we have this comeback.

Without a doubt, what bothered me the most about this Police appearance at Fenway is the fact that all of a sudden tickets for the previously sold out shows all of a sudden went on sale again 10 days ago. Maybe I'm paranoid, but I can't shake the feeling that something underhanded is going on here. I don't buy the cover story that due to a change in the positioning of the stage more seats suddenly became available. I think the shows weren't selling out, so they pulled back some tickets and trumped up this little gimmick to add a sense of surprise and urgency to unload tickets at the last minute.

That bothers me to no end. I can't really fault the Red Sox or the promoter who came up with that little scheme. It's a nice one, after all. If Red Sox fans weren't sheep, the team ownership would have a lot of trouble shearing them. But Red Sox fans are sheep, so management can manipulate them and shake them down as they see fit.

Well, the Red Sox are back in business, and it looks like they're going to beat the Blue Jays tonight. But I have bigger problems on my mind at the moment. For reasons involving personal business, I had to drive to Scarsdale, NY. Unfortunately, in order to get to New York from Boston, one must drive through Connecticut. Connecticut is like Disneyland (the happiest place on Earth) in the same way that JD Drew's stats are comparable with A Rod's.

Among the many problems with the great state of Connecticut is the fact that it's spelled differently than it sounds. I understand that it come from a Native American word which I am sure means 9,000 square mile waste of space. But why do we pronounce it Conneticut? Why doesn't every one say Connecticut? Maybe there is an inherent logic to the process that only residents of Connecticut understand. But Massachusetts is pronounced in the same manner in which it is spelled, and if it's good enough for Massachusetts, you better believe that it's too good for CT.

Then there is the fact that every single highway in Connecticut looks like Patton's Third Army rolled over it during the winter campaign to relieve Bastonge. I think I saw a minivan swallowed up by a pothole on I-95 outside of New Haven. It kind of makes you wonder why there is always road construction in Connecticut yet they never have a decent road. Yeah, the Big Dig turned out to be a big mess but if they tried that type of project in a city in Connecticut, can you honestly tell me that they would have anything left of said city save for a big sinkhole? Come to think of it, maybe that's what happened to Hartford.

Also, come to think of it, can any one explain to me how Connecticut got to be the Constitution State? My American history might be a little rusty, but as far as I know Delaware was the first state to ratify the US Constitution. The USS Constitution was built in Boston. Yeah, there was a compromise at the Constitutional Convention associated with the Connecticut delegation. But do you really want to steal Delaware's thunder for your state license plate caption? Even the Spirit of
American is better and more germane and it's a beat slogan.

But the worst thing about Connecticut is that 90% of the people should either be locked up or deported for the good of the Republic. For the love of God, just because I have Massachusetts plates and I happen to pass you on the highway, that doesn't make it a personal challenge. Of course I think I'm better than you. I am better than you. I'm from Massachusetts and you're from Connecticut. Hell, homeless people in the slums of Minsk are better than most Connecticut people. I say this with apologies to the handful of friends I have in the great state of Connecticut. You, of course, are the exception that proves the rule.