Tuesday, August 21, 2007

There are two things that I wanted to talk about but I haven't found the time, and I find myself unable to sleep at the moment. First, David Ortiz is selling the customized 2005 Mercedes-Benz convertible SL-Class whip which he bought as a gift for himself after the lamentable 2004 World Series. Are times that tough in Big Papi land that he has to go on eBay and hock his Benz?

After all, he's selling the car ($205,000 to start and with a $35,000 customization on top of it) at a net loss of $66,000. It seems awfully strange to me. Not being particularly well-versed in the intricacies of the tax code, I can only guess that he might be doing this to claim the loss on his taxes. I wouldn't even bring this up (since I know he must have the best lawyers and accountants in the world so it must be legal), but the car is described as Red Sox Red.

I was not aware that the Red Sox had extended their tentacles this far. I did not know that they owned an entire hue. I must have been asleep at the switch. It is my responsibility as the leader of their opposition to notice these things and check their aggression. I can only apologize and assure my loyal readers that I will put up a better defense of blue and green should the Red Sox desire to expand their ownership into other sections of the color palette.

The other thing I meant to comment on Sunday night if I weren't trying very hard not to post after I've been drinking was the bizarre manner in which Tiki Barber decided to throw Eli Manning under the bus for the New York Giants lack of tangible success. That seems to me the story of Tiki Barber's career as a football player. He's very well educated and very articulate so it sounds good when he tells you whose fault it is. And the funny thing about that is it was never Tiki's fault.

I can't stand any of the Mannings, but tonight I have to side with Eli. Where does Tiki get the minerals to talk about any body's leadership when he went through that whole circus about premature retirement last year? I remember ripping him last season for greeting Thomas Jones with a hug and a winning smile right after the Bears handed the Giants a crippling loss. The Giants were leading the NFC East at 6-2 at the time and one game behind the Bears for home field throughout the playoffs. They finished the year 8-8 and were defeated 23-20 by the Eagles (who won the division) on the road in the wildcard round.

Every game in the NFL can have disastrous consequences, so Tiki should have been more of a leader and less of a sportsman. Eli Manning could have done more, but it was fine for Tiki to hug an opponent after the game. Yeah, Tiki had 141 yards rushing, but stats only get you so far. Statistical production was the story of Tiki's career. But there never was a defining moment. Of course you could say the same about Barry Sanders, but only because he had so many brilliant runs that no one play could be singled out from the thousand.

Tiki would be better served to remember that he'd have to poison victims of Hurricane Dean to be the biggest douche in his broadcast booth, but that doesn't give him carte blanche. Sitting next to Cris Collinsworth can go to a man's head and make him think he's tough and brilliant, simply because Collinsworth is so adept at taking things from the metaphorical table. But that doesn't give Tiki the right to rip former teammates for a lack of leadership. Not unless they decide to retire to go to the Today show in midseason.

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