Tuesday, October 31, 2006

I waited a few hours before I decided to go ahead with this post. I waited for a pair of press conference that have yet to come. I think these press conferences have been delayed because it takes a while for information to filter into and back out of Middle America. The most vital is the one Lovie Smith is to hold any time now. For those who may not know, Lovie is the coach of the Chicago Bears.

In the wake of last night's sublimely amazing victory over the Vikings, the New England Patriots achieved something no other team has achieved in the history of the National Football League. They beat a team 27 days prior to the scheduled start of their game. As I first suggested a few weeks ago, the time has come to refer to the Bears as a one loss team. There is no way, barring some sort of Jim Jones Kool Aid episode, that the Bears can come into Gillette Stadium and compete with the mighty Patriots. That is, unless Ron Borges could have placed too much emphasis on last night's win over a very flawed Minnesota team.

Maybe Ron Borges and I read different articles and watch different TV programming, but I had not heard Minnesota mentioned among the class of the NFC until his article. They have a shot to make the playoffs, but not a very good one. Most national coverage of the National Football Conference seems to favor the South and East divisions rather than the North. The Cowboys, Eagles, Falcons and Panthers all have better shots to end up with the 2 wildcard playoff berths than the mighty Vikings.

Ron Borges makes a big deal (pun not intended) about the two massive Minnesota defensive tackles. Perhaps he would have done well to make it clear to his readers that Pat Williams, one of the pair, is still more famous for his bizarre feud with Bears center Olin Kreutz than for his play on the field. Apparently, Kreutz single-handedly formed a cabal that kept Williams out of the Pro Bowl. That sounds about as ridiculous as this poor cat looks.

For those who insist on the proprieties, I got the picture from the AP via the Daily Telegraph and Jed Carlson. I did not take that picture. I do not own a cat, and if I did, there is no way in the world that someone would dress that cat in a costume of any sort. Look at it. Any fool can tell that the cat is livid. So you're a loser, live with it. Don't take it out on a cat, or dog. But I digress.

I know that it has become every reader's favorite thing that nearly resembles a feature in this blog, but it's time for another of my sporadic musings on the Bears and their title hopes. At this point, I still don't know that they can win the Super Bowl. They beat the 49ers in resounding fashion on Sunday. But I'm reluctant to call it an impressive win.

Yes, the Bears were ahead by forty one points by halftime. So they had that going for them, which is nice. They went on to win 41-10. I am not saying that they should have played as hard to preserve the shutout as they did in the process of building the big lead. Nor am I saying the Bears should have tried to run up the score (even more than they did). I am merely not overly impressed with them beating a team savagely when they were expected to beat that team savagely.

I am fairly convinced that the Bears can venture into Gillette Stadium and compete with the Patriots. I believe the Bears can win the game. I am not willing to say anything more definite on the subject at this point for two reasons. First, there is the menacing presence of Rex Grossman. I think he got the bad game out of his system in Arizona, but what if he didn't? Then there is my prediction that Dallas would beat Philly. That didn't go so well.

So I would say this to wrap up this stream of something (not quite consciousness) with this advice to Lovie Smith. Don't forfeit just yet. After all, the Patriots have the Colts this week. While they have had some success against Peyton Manning in the past, the New England defense hasn't been tested the way they will be on Sunday night all season. If the Patriots lose that game, according to Ron Borges logic, the Bears will only lose by 30. Then again, if the Patriots win, Brady and the boys will win the Bears game by somewhere on the order of a trillion points (give or take an order of magnitude). In that case, I'd best start rewriting the Paper Lace opus "The Night Chicago Died."

The other press conference I expected this afternoon should have come from city officials in Boston. Since the Red Sox picked up Tim Wakefield's option, I assumed that the city would have announced its preparations for the victory parade to celebrate the World Series championship which is now in the cards for the 2007 edition of the Henrymen (the CHB's expression, not mine). Maybe they're waiting until after the election, maybe they were too hung over from celebrating the Patriot triumph or maybe they await the big name signings that are currently in the works. I'm rooting for them to engineer a trade for Gary Sheffield, and I think you know why, Red Sox Nation.

PS - I don't know if you happened to catch Cold Pizza today, but for the first time ever, I thought Dana Jacobson looked a bit frisky in her Halloween costume at the end of the show. Of course, I might not have noticed it before in her more professional attire. Maybe I was a bit prejudiced against her as a graduate of Michigan. I think we all know by now that Ann Arbor (and the northern Midwest, in general) is pretty much Xanadu for the unattractive female. As with most of the insulting and offensive things that appear in the blog, I hope you realize I mean it in the nicest way possible.

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