Friday, September 01, 2006

Ladies and Gentlemen, times have been tough for me, which is weird when the Red Sox are collapsing in front of our eyes. All of the optimism born from the improbable comeback in 2004 seems dead. The Red Sox gave up on the season, according to the anchor fraud in the Globe Sports section, when they traded David Wells. There were those who expected very little from Wells this season, which makes it very funny that his departure marks the moment where some in the media queue up the Crowded House (they sang the song Don't Dream It's Over in the 1980s).

And will next year be any better? Curt Schilling will be a year older. Josh Beckett might get it together, then again he might not. And after that, there is no one left in the rotation. Tim Wakefield should be coming back from injury, but if you think that will be enough to fix their current woes, I have some real estate I'd like to sell you. And then there's Matt Clement. Some day people will look back on the 1st half of last season as an aberration on par with season one of the Chapelle Show. There is no next year for which to wait.

I have been somewhat quiet for the last week, even though I wanted to gloat because I felt bad. As much as I wanted to do a victory lap, only a total tool would do that with the health problems faced by David Ortiz and Jon Lester. Especially now that Lester has lymphoma. It makes me feel like a jackass even typing what I've typed to this point.

But I can't keep silent about something. Poor Carl Yaztremski. Baseball Hall of Famer, Triple Crown Winner and a guy who shares a name with a new birth control medication. Not that I have a particular problem with contraception. That's just one of many subjects where we'd all be better off if we kept silent.

As if Carl doesn't have enough problems. Dan Shaughnessy has to be circling around him, as the oldest really recognizable Red Sox alumnus (Johnny Pesky lacks the eminence, nice guy, nice player but not a star), the CHB has to be hovering over him, just like the CHB hovered over Ted Williams in his declining years. That is another angle to generate columns with a minimum of effort that the CHB has perfected.

In case those of you who read this were wondering, I have some things to rail against in the coming fall. I hadn't prepared any formal lines of attack, which explains this "post," but there will be pieces coming in the next few days. I cannot let the Danny Ainge impression conducted by Coach K and Jerry Collangelo pulled in this year's world championship pass without comment. And I'm sure this season's edition of the Celtics will find new ways to disappoint. And the rest of my plans for this fall's Festivus can wait for another day.

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